My Plan

I plan things out more than anyone else that I know. I have everything for myself planned out until the day I die, which on the day that I die, I'll look into the mirror and tell myself that I lived a happy life and accomplished all I wanted to. I have 5 goals for my life that are a part of the greater plan.

They Are:

1. Love Who I Am: I struggle with this everyday, but I also get better at it everyday

2. Find True Love: I'm going to be someone's everything and all I expect is the same in return. I hope to find this sooner rather than later

3. Have a Job that Brings Financial Security and Hapiness at the Same Time: I will not be a cog in the machine of the working world and I will not live a life where I am not able to support myself.

4. Live in My Dream House: Home is where the heart is, my house that I envision is beautiful.

5. Finish Everything on My List: MTV shoulda given me the show "the buried life" F those toolbags, it was my idea first.

Also I got a tattoo to remind me of these goals:

I love the plans I make for myself and have officially accepted it as a part of who I am and will never change for anyone. This complicates group projects. This also complicates social plans. This complicates my relationship with my mother, queen of unorderliness. This complicates my respect for teachers. This complicates my relationships. This complicates everything, and I love it.

Sometimes I get upset because my plans don't happen the way I want them to happen. Like my search for love. I want it and I'm ready for it. I don't hookup. I'm comfortable with the single lifestyle, am I scared of the alternative, absolutely not. I would be completely ok with settling down at 19, I think thats unique. I still have to grow as a person and I try to do that every day as well so that when that person crosses my path I'm ready. But the biggest thing that I've learned, through my thoughts and conversations with Katie is that I won't settle to cure my loneliness. I don't NEED to be held, kissed, or glorified. What I NEED is that one person, and I'm willing to wait because I haven't met him yet:

For now I'll stick to my plans and my "analness." (It was a joke, laugh) I'll continue to plan out every hour of my day, which is a part of the great plan for happiness.

-Ben