Alladin and the Genie

I've always had this thing for Alladin. I want any excuse to idolize a disney prince and I love "A Whole New World."  I think I look like him especially when I have long hair so naturally I was him for halloween a couple of years ago:

 

But the reason I bring him up is because his story was used as an example of the philosophy and inspiration of the book/movie I just finished reading/watching during break. It's called "The Secret" and I'm sure many people have read it as well or have heard of it. It's a wonderful read and even if you don't believe in what its saying it will at least inspire you to formulate your own opinions on life.

What they say in the bnook is that you must ask the universe for what you want and you shall receive, just like Alladin and his genie (they also mention that the true story says he was given an infinite amount of wishes not just the three). We need to truly put our thoughts and efforts into what we want, and because of the law of attraction, we receive. It gets more complicated because we cannot use the phrase "don't want" because the universe does not interpret the word don't. And by using the "don't want" phrase we are focusing our energy on negative things when we should be solely thinking about what we do want and acting as if we have it.

Do I believe what "The Secret" is about? Whole Heartedly. I have of course spun it into a view that matches my life and am going to be working to try and make it part of my perception. Do I think it's for everyone to believe? Of course not, there will always be skeptics. But I have always believed in Karma and this has just put principles and guidelines to what I already believed. And, for me it has given me mental excercises to perform and helpful hints to achieve what I truly want out of life. I will be changing many of my thinking habits in my future, which will undoubtedly be hard. But it's what I want to do. 

It will be hard because I constantly catch myself thinking about what I don't want out of life. And really focusing my energy and attention to those bad things. Before when I thought that by doing that I was safeguarding myself from ever becoming reality, I was unaware that I was making it possibility. I will now try and direct my attentions to things that I do want with life, and never doubt that they will come true, or that I already have them waiting for me. 

I appreciate that I got the chance to read the book and I am now really taking the time to implement some of these things into my life to really achieve what I want out of it. 

-Ben

My Plan

I plan things out more than anyone else that I know. I have everything for myself planned out until the day I die, which on the day that I die, I'll look into the mirror and tell myself that I lived a happy life and accomplished all I wanted to. I have 5 goals for my life that are a part of the greater plan.

They Are:

1. Love Who I Am: I struggle with this everyday, but I also get better at it everyday

2. Find True Love: I'm going to be someone's everything and all I expect is the same in return. I hope to find this sooner rather than later

3. Have a Job that Brings Financial Security and Hapiness at the Same Time: I will not be a cog in the machine of the working world and I will not live a life where I am not able to support myself.

4. Live in My Dream House: Home is where the heart is, my house that I envision is beautiful.

5. Finish Everything on My List: MTV shoulda given me the show "the buried life" F those toolbags, it was my idea first.

Also I got a tattoo to remind me of these goals:

I love the plans I make for myself and have officially accepted it as a part of who I am and will never change for anyone. This complicates group projects. This also complicates social plans. This complicates my relationship with my mother, queen of unorderliness. This complicates my respect for teachers. This complicates my relationships. This complicates everything, and I love it.

Sometimes I get upset because my plans don't happen the way I want them to happen. Like my search for love. I want it and I'm ready for it. I don't hookup. I'm comfortable with the single lifestyle, am I scared of the alternative, absolutely not. I would be completely ok with settling down at 19, I think thats unique. I still have to grow as a person and I try to do that every day as well so that when that person crosses my path I'm ready. But the biggest thing that I've learned, through my thoughts and conversations with Katie is that I won't settle to cure my loneliness. I don't NEED to be held, kissed, or glorified. What I NEED is that one person, and I'm willing to wait because I haven't met him yet:

For now I'll stick to my plans and my "analness." (It was a joke, laugh) I'll continue to plan out every hour of my day, which is a part of the great plan for happiness.

-Ben 

putting it out there.

so, leah barton and i like to play with that stumble upon thing where it gives you cool websites and stuff to look at. i have been addicted to this one website that it gave me. this lady did a project where she wrote 300 love letters. letters to lovers, friends, family, and strangers. i love how the meaning of love is shown through them all. so differently. it doesn't even have to be written poetically, just written. i admired that. i have never just done that. written what i wanted to tell someone. i needed to. so i did. 

you probably don't remember me seeming like i needed your affirmation of your love from the times we spent before you left. after i encouraged our time touching rather than talking. i showed you that i want love in the poorest of ways. i thought you would make the connection between physical and emotional love. how could i admit that to you afterward? admit that i asked for something i really didn't need in hope for something i did. 

i am really the one at fault, thinking that needs were obvious through twisting behavior. what the hell, right? i hate that i couldn't ask you. i couldn't ask you how you felt, how you were expecting to make me feel, how you wanted it all to play out. i hate that when i did ask you, it was fucking awkward. you couldn't articulate your feelings to me. actually, it was worse. you had never planned to. even worse, to this day i cant imagine you telling me what i needed to hear and i couldn't tell you how i am feeling about it all, for dumb fucking reasons. 

i want you to choose to act in a way that is going to be parallel to how i want you to. natural. not forced. i want you to want me. unconditionally, non-awkwardly, like a friend. i want you to want to make me happy as well as knowing how to. i want you to send me letters and fbook messages. i want you to remind me why we worked, why you looked at me in sorin that time, why you asked me on a date, why i helped you grow, why you wanted to hold my hand in public, and why you wanted more. i don't care if they are animalistic reasons, degrading me down to outward beauty. at least they are reasons i can work with. i could at least hate you then. 


-Katie

here is the inspiration, enjoy it. 

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1sBpBK/www.sleeptrip.com/300loveletters/2.html

who has my back.

before i start: this is my grandma. she is like 79 years old. i like her. when we went to visit her i had to sleep in the same bed as her. 
she snored. 
okay.
i live in the stage of life where my judgment is shown through what courses i choose to take, who i date, if i decide to go out on a friday, or the occasional "text from last night." i not only am learning to embrace every minute of a life on my own, but also learning to deal with the fact that decision making can shoot me in the ass if i don't watch where i'm pointing my life. choice making is scary. the trill is starting to leave and now i feel like life's trying to scare me till i poop my pants; i feel the same way i did after i watched The Grudge. decision making = the girl from The Grudge. following me around everywhere. i'm constantly being put in situations where i have to rely on myself to make responsible decisions.

(that pic is so creepy and definitely not needed but i just put it up anyway) 
i am forced to look at my own choice making puzzles and to see them from my perspective as well as how other people in my life may view them. i have always thought that life's problems are better off internalized, figured out on ones own so to be fully learned from and thought out. strength and the right choices do not have to be found that way. in fact, i have learned to value the insight and outside perspective of people i trust.
i started feeling insecure about how i could value the fact that everyone should have their own opinions of things and yet, i wasn't open to utilizing that by asking others for advice and a different perspective on something i was going through. it is naive of me and almost conceded to think that i am always going to know exactly the right choice for myself. it is ignorant to think that i would seem weaker by asking for help, by admitting my confusion or frustration. at first, hearing my friends views on my choices almost hurt. it was hard to remember that they supported me when i knew they disagreed or had a different view than i did. i learned to value my friends who could remain sympathetic of my right to choose my own routes in life and choice making, even if they disagreed. 
i still haven't found resolution to the fight between internalizing life and being a human beings and needing to talk through things. a part of me will always want to push through it myself until i can feel content with a situation on my own, sit by myself all day listing to music and thinking, learning through practice and error.  maturity wise, i think i would never gain anything by only living life that way. instead i need to find people who will never press judgement on my life, but will help me remember why i choose the things i do. keep me in check and shit.
i don't need someone to tell me EXACTLY what choices to make. no one wants that. i just want to be able to feel comfortable in a situation where i can present a decision i need to make and collaborate with someone from a different perspective.   
friends are meant to fill that role. you can always have the back of a friend without having to back every decision they make. 


-katie.

introductions.

This is the story of two college friends. COLLEGE friends, not high school friends, big difference. These are the people that will be at your wedding, the birth of your child, your good times and bad, these are the friends that will be around forever. We’ve made it through a semester of college, pure memories that will always be remembered fondly and now we’ve decided to start and make a blog. We don’t care where this goes, if people like it awesome, if no one ever sees it, awesome. We have real stories and real feelings that we will share, wether for just us or for more. Most of all it’s two people, two friends, but two people that have different lives, goals, passions, and most of all sees the world through different eyes.

 

This is Ben.

i chose purple cause he likes it. ben loves farting. just a juicy gaseous bubble of love.(lies. he actually does not think bodily functions are funny. yet. i will convert him to my toolish humor sooner or later.) ben loves mainstream media. he would take House Bunny over some hipster indie movie any day. he keeps me up to date with the latest things the cool kids are listening to. ben is an eclectic life of music, talent, intelligence and open mindedness. 

he is truly the best friend a eighteen year old white girl could ask for. he fills a day with joyous kicks and giggles. he always models the the need to reach and achieve goals no matter how large. whether it be making me run and/or look at boys at the gym, or make me see the importance of seeing myself minus insecurities and to live life using every opportunity presented to the fullest. 

plus he is hot. tell everyone you know. tell all your friends.

This is Katie

I chose blue because it's the color of her eyes. Katie is undoubtedly the most ignorant, self centered, materialistic,judgemental, immature, woman I have ever met. Actually, take the opposite of every adjective used above and then and only then is it applicable to Katie. She is one of the only people I've met that reserves judgement for those who are immature and weak, she accepts people for who they are and admires them for that person. 

Katie is not a "girl". Her dream wedding doesn't come with vera wang and white roses, just a loving man, mine comes with all of the above. She doesn't see that perfect child in her future, nor the perfect home. Katie has a longboard, how many chicas do you see on them. She actually enjoys farting, really. Grandma once said "Fart humor must be gender specific" Grandma was wrong. I also support the arguement against grandma.


She never gets mad during facebook status change wars. She accepts my witty and random humor. She loves philosophy and anything that has a deeper meaning, which means my love for girl groups that objectify themselves is not shared with her. Katie is beautiful inside and out, done.