Just stages. Damn them.

We get caught on the high wire and forget.

It seems normal to end up back in this position, where I am back feeling unstable and insecure and hoping for more. Thinking back a year, when everything stood at the surface, I don’t necessarily miss that. It was good to feel like I was the one making the calls, feeling like I ran my whole self. Now, I am okay with being back here in stage of movement and change. I wanted that.

So, I will end up back here again, waiting for life’s next stage. 

Anticipating, cause I don’t dare force life to go in any one direction. That is not why I’m here. I’m here to feel, move, change, dream, hope, learn, and love. This stage is just part of that. It’s not like this is a bad stage. How dare I put a negative connotation, like “suffering”, on life? I’m not sure if there is such a thing as a bad stage of life. Just stages. Damn them.

I had a dream about certain people in my life last night.

One year ago, I wouldn’t have ever dreamt about them, let alone know them. I am grateful. Grateful for the good times and memories and bad times and memories they have given me. Grateful they let me be able to dream about them. 

-katie


"I wanna hear how in this give and take."